Current mood:	bitchy
Current music:	"Ridiculous Thoughts" -The Cranberries
Entry tags:	di gi charat, rabi/minagawa

[DI GI CHARAT] A Dull Glow
No more KH! :D

Well. I was just staring at the entry for What Means the Most. And... and the ":O". It came out like ":O]". I'm pretty much dead with laughter now. Nope, don't expect me to be writing anymore. You can blame LJ and their wonky brackets for that. Mhm. Everyone send them flames.

...okaysoreallyi'mjustlyingtogetattentionpleasedonotstartkillingme.

Title: A Dull Glow
Pairing: Rabi/Minagawa
Rating: K+.
Written To: N/A.
Word Count: 503. (That number is completely inaccurate. I was going by what FFNET said, and in FFNET!A Dull Glow, there was a lengthy author's note before the actual fic. I'm too lazy to check for the right number. Just go by this: It's short.)
Summary: Rabi en Rose's reflections on her life.
Author's Note: This was the first in what I planned to be a series of post-Gamers Rabi drabbles. ... I only ever wrote two. Because no one ever reviewed. They couldn't handle Rabi's wangst. All except for one guy, who rocked because he actually gave me comments on the thing. The rest of the fandom = meanies.

A Dull Glow

It’s kind of sad, when you think about it.

All I remember of my early years was trying as hard as I could to be an idol. It was my dream. Everyone knew it was. But no one knew how dear it was to me.

Honestly. My parents left me with nothing but a pair of dice. Just... left me. From that moment, I knew I had to do my best. I had to. There was nothing else I could do.

So I strived, worked hard, tried my best to please everyone. Maybe I wanted to be an idol just to show everyone up, especially my parents. As far as I know, very few believed in me. Maybe that’s why I wanted so badly to be a star.

Maybe I never liked my name because it reminded me of my parents. Maybe I was disgusted with them and didn’t want to be reminded, at all, of them. I didn’t want anything left of them. Nothing. I just wanted to start over, fresh and pure again.

Then Dejiko came. Looking back, maybe I was mean to her because she reminded me too much of everything I wasn’t. She had a mother who loved her, was loved as the princess of the planet she came from. She had everything.

But then again, maybe why I truly loved her deep down was because she was everything I wasn’t. She was a glimmer of light I could hold on to, just to keep myself going. To remind myself that I could be her, if I just held on.

Then, of course, there was Minagawa. The one who believed in me the most. And the one that seemed to disappear the fastest after my dream came true. Maybe he was afraid that he wasn’t worthy of my presence anymore. He always did seem like that kind of person.

Sometimes I look back on the things we did together and I cry.

He always told me I was radiant.

I’m little more than a dull glow now.